if yr at all interested in learning oshindonga, i wouldn't mind posting lessons on my blog. i'll begin with vocabulary:
konya - eat porridge from the stick
kotamena - drink with mouth in the water
or you could just go here or here or here.
also: i don't know if this is related to tate samurai peter's story, but i found this in a student's workbook:
my cat is die, but my dog is eaten by snack.
sancho sleeps indoors now.
i initially found the candy-as-currency culture here rather amusing, and when i say currency, i mean currency in all its forms: monetary, social, etc. ok, i'm bullshitting. i had to use etc b/c i can only think of two forms of currency at the moment, and it's my blog so i should appear smarter than anyone reading it. the et cetera allows me to move to subsequent thoughts while readers assume me capable of completing the series if only i wasn't so rushed. whatevs, some people use combovers, i use strategically-learned latin.
the message here is sweets. most ppl understand that the major expense in an african holiday is the airfare, that once here you can get by quite comfortably on summer earnings from burger king. that's not the case at all. consumer goods cost money, quite a bit of it. the reason day-to-day living here is so inexpensive is that candy is more addictive than crack, which consequently means you can use jolly ranchers to buy just about anything. anything. food, clothes, police protection, governmental contracts, a new wife. if yr caught at the angolan border with diamonds, assault rifles, honey, japanese cars older than five years, or even sam nujoma's very own kidnapped mother, a casual mention of snickers will send you unfettered to the nearest (black) market stall. i've personally used sweets to curry favor with postal employees and taxi drivers. it's amazing the coincidence that arises between a soft bribe and the "sudden" arrival of a parcel my mama posted three months earlier. or the suddenly non-belligerent stance taxi drivers assume even though yr n$5 short of fare.
i've never understood the appeal of candy to namibians, but i looked in the mirror today and noticed my teeth are either dark yellow, black, or have fallen out. i don't think it's an issue of maintenance. i currently own five toothbrushes, two tubes of toothpaste, and have ready access to running water. there's also a bottle of listerine in my room. i even use it on occasion. that leaves me to assume my sugar consumption has thoroughly outpaced my oral hygiene, which is odd considering my general aversion to sugar at home. when i was younger i wanted nothing more than a dinner plateful of starburst and a liter of coke, but then i turned 20 and my craving for unnecessary sugar extinguished itself. my only reason for buying coke since then is if i'm sharing the bottle with capt. morgan. but now that i live in southern africa: GIVE ME NOW FOOKEN SUGAR NOW OR I'LL NOW STAB YOU!!! i don't know why, but i can't walk past a cuca shop without wrestling an urge to buy a coke. nor can i casually dismiss the bags of candy i find in the occasional care package. i used to offer candy after tests to the best performing students, but i was invariably left with half a bag to hide under my shirt so the other teachers wouldn't see and, consequently, ask me to share. i've since squelched that temptation by shifting from curve-based assessment to straight numbers. ever since i've introduced 80% as the new standard i've been able to walk past the candy aisle with nary the concern. it's not like students study, though that's an entirely different story.
the message here is sweets. most ppl understand that the major expense in an african holiday is the airfare, that once here you can get by quite comfortably on summer earnings from burger king. that's not the case at all. consumer goods cost money, quite a bit of it. the reason day-to-day living here is so inexpensive is that candy is more addictive than crack, which consequently means you can use jolly ranchers to buy just about anything. anything. food, clothes, police protection, governmental contracts, a new wife. if yr caught at the angolan border with diamonds, assault rifles, honey, japanese cars older than five years, or even sam nujoma's very own kidnapped mother, a casual mention of snickers will send you unfettered to the nearest (black) market stall. i've personally used sweets to curry favor with postal employees and taxi drivers. it's amazing the coincidence that arises between a soft bribe and the "sudden" arrival of a parcel my mama posted three months earlier. or the suddenly non-belligerent stance taxi drivers assume even though yr n$5 short of fare.
i've never understood the appeal of candy to namibians, but i looked in the mirror today and noticed my teeth are either dark yellow, black, or have fallen out. i don't think it's an issue of maintenance. i currently own five toothbrushes, two tubes of toothpaste, and have ready access to running water. there's also a bottle of listerine in my room. i even use it on occasion. that leaves me to assume my sugar consumption has thoroughly outpaced my oral hygiene, which is odd considering my general aversion to sugar at home. when i was younger i wanted nothing more than a dinner plateful of starburst and a liter of coke, but then i turned 20 and my craving for unnecessary sugar extinguished itself. my only reason for buying coke since then is if i'm sharing the bottle with capt. morgan. but now that i live in southern africa: GIVE ME NOW FOOKEN SUGAR NOW OR I'LL NOW STAB YOU!!! i don't know why, but i can't walk past a cuca shop without wrestling an urge to buy a coke. nor can i casually dismiss the bags of candy i find in the occasional care package. i used to offer candy after tests to the best performing students, but i was invariably left with half a bag to hide under my shirt so the other teachers wouldn't see and, consequently, ask me to share. i've since squelched that temptation by shifting from curve-based assessment to straight numbers. ever since i've introduced 80% as the new standard i've been able to walk past the candy aisle with nary the concern. it's not like students study, though that's an entirely different story.
pc/namibia sponsors various committees do to things. what those things are, i don't know. i'm a member of one. in fact, i'm the pageant coordinator for the hiv/aids committee, so i should probably educate myself on what is entailed by things. i'll get on that tomorrow. i do know that the diversity committee has interpreted things to mean they should put together a diversity tour. i forget b/c i'm ignorant, but i think there are 12 or 13 distinct ethnic groups in namibia. even though nationalism dictates that the people here are first and foremost namibian, it's not long into persiflage that you discover the presence of tribalism. i don't know the precise extent of the issue, but i've had enough anecdotal experience to know it's a problem. things like: "oh, those hereros. they were nowhere when we fight against south africa." or, "i don't like walvis bay; they are too much ovambos."
like most forms of prejudice, tribalism is based on ignorance. the apartheid system of governance seperated people into bantustans depending on their tribal affiliation, and since even today many people don't wander much past the old boundaries, it's easy to think of damaras, himba, the san, or whomever else you aren't as those people. sheeat, aspersions are even flung within the same territory. the owambo people are comprised of eight seperate tribes, and it's not uncommon to hear about those dirty ndonga, or how kwanyamas grow up to be thieves.
to promote better understanding between peoples, the diversity committee sponsors a tour in which they take ~30 school-aged children and stick them on a bus that travels through different parts of namibia. the idea is to sit the students next to someone their parents have claimed smells like shit and have them realize if they smell shit, it's prolly b/c they're staring up a cow's arsehole. the committee selects participants for the tour by inviting submissions from students all over the country. i don't know what exactly is submitted, but it looks all poem-y, or crayon-y, or essayish. i think the focus is, uh, diversity? participants are then chosen based on some criteria i'm not privy to and then told they can sit on a bus for five days if they don't have anything else going on.
i think 200+ submitted entries for this year's tour, which meant there was a pile of 170 rejections that i got to rifle through, keeping whatever i thought cute, funny, retarded, or [insert complementary adjective]. the point: i have a pile of artwork that i'm going to use for enclosures in the letters i send home. i think i salvaged only one poem, so most of them are drawings of some sort, though the lucky few of you will have the benefit of expository captions:
I like Ovambo people because when they playing they make exercise. The sound & voice they use it is good & I like Ovambo Cultural association when they associate.
anyhow, i suppose i should publish the single poem i pilfered. i wouldn't say it demonstrates a firm grasp on the language, but still...
poem
AIds AIds where are you?
you coward things I wish
I get you in my hands
How could you do it?
How could you bring ashamed
on our, Country, family and on our
friends.
You cut our love you
Destep [destroy?] relationship and our friendship
Everytime I become weak
AIds AIds you coward
Why don't you make me see you.
I wish I wish I wish
I will find a treatment for you
Once you kill my friend
you kill my family
and our nation
Can't you became enough
with that.
You coward!!!
like most forms of prejudice, tribalism is based on ignorance. the apartheid system of governance seperated people into bantustans depending on their tribal affiliation, and since even today many people don't wander much past the old boundaries, it's easy to think of damaras, himba, the san, or whomever else you aren't as those people. sheeat, aspersions are even flung within the same territory. the owambo people are comprised of eight seperate tribes, and it's not uncommon to hear about those dirty ndonga, or how kwanyamas grow up to be thieves.
to promote better understanding between peoples, the diversity committee sponsors a tour in which they take ~30 school-aged children and stick them on a bus that travels through different parts of namibia. the idea is to sit the students next to someone their parents have claimed smells like shit and have them realize if they smell shit, it's prolly b/c they're staring up a cow's arsehole. the committee selects participants for the tour by inviting submissions from students all over the country. i don't know what exactly is submitted, but it looks all poem-y, or crayon-y, or essayish. i think the focus is, uh, diversity? participants are then chosen based on some criteria i'm not privy to and then told they can sit on a bus for five days if they don't have anything else going on.
i think 200+ submitted entries for this year's tour, which meant there was a pile of 170 rejections that i got to rifle through, keeping whatever i thought cute, funny, retarded, or [insert complementary adjective]. the point: i have a pile of artwork that i'm going to use for enclosures in the letters i send home. i think i salvaged only one poem, so most of them are drawings of some sort, though the lucky few of you will have the benefit of expository captions:
I like Ovambo people because when they playing they make exercise. The sound & voice they use it is good & I like Ovambo Cultural association when they associate.
anyhow, i suppose i should publish the single poem i pilfered. i wouldn't say it demonstrates a firm grasp on the language, but still...
poem
AIds AIds where are you?
you coward things I wish
I get you in my hands
How could you do it?
How could you bring ashamed
on our, Country, family and on our
friends.
You cut our love you
Destep [destroy?] relationship and our friendship
Everytime I become weak
AIds AIds you coward
Why don't you make me see you.
I wish I wish I wish
I will find a treatment for you
Once you kill my friend
you kill my family
and our nation
Can't you became enough
with that.
You coward!!!
i won't pretend that i'm not opportunistic when it comes to sport. i found a tv with satellite a couple weeks ago and discovered i'm a pistons fan. afterward i used the internet to see if i'm pulling for the tigers and gave the go ahead once i saw them hovering around .500. and let me claim before anyone else: i fooken l o o o o o o v e chick baseball. then there's soccer. since i live in africa i'm required to support an english football club, and since chelsea ran away with the premiership this year, they were the natural candidate for my unabated loyalty. but i sometimes don't find them on the telly and need a different team to support. i generally go here with arsenal since they won the premiership last year.
so that's me, a grandstander, unless we're talking michigan football. or politics. nay, even here, 9000 miles away from home and american flag in hand, will you hear me claiming george w. bush was my horse. or is my horse, for that matter. but he is my president, and it gets a little tiresome to be bombarded with fuck george bush everytime i set foot outside the country. granted, his approach to foreign, or even domestic, diplomacy could be a bit less ascerbic, but he isn't the puppet master behind robert mugabe's more informed decisions. or even hostage situations in cambodia. nor is he or his party directly responsible for enabling people like kwame kilpatrick. so yeah, double-ewwwww: douche, but not the reason for yr shitty life.
i was wondering about this b/c even here, in a po-dunk village no one's ever heard of before, people occasionally tell me that gw sucks. ok, i can agree. but then they go on. pretty soon america's bombed every known country on earth, even atlantis, leaving me to believe that (1) george bush sucks, (2) america sucks, and (3) americans suck b/c they voted for george bush. (1) i agree with, (2) i can understand why a n.korean might think so, and (3) is complete bullshit, especially when promulgated by people in a society as conservative as namibia. and now that i've reconsidered, (2) is full of arse too, especially since it's predicated on the belief america is too quick to show off its dick. everytime i find myself acquiesing into agreement with "we're too violent" i realize i'm in a poor ass country and the only reason places like namibia, zambia, or chile aren't dropping bombs on people is b/c they can't afford the planes to drop them with. a proclivity towards military interventions can't be blamed solely on societal values. it's been quite some time since namibia's been involved in armed conflict, yet every day at school i see kids beating on each other, and if they're not, the teachers fill the gap. when i was growing up fighting was (supposedly) deterred through suspension. i was even suspended once for NOT fighting the wanker trying to fight me. all this micro grows into macro, which leads me to belief the third world would transgress just as much as the first if given the opportunity.
but whatevs, it's (3) that bugs me the worst. i didn't vote for bush not b/c he speaks like a retard, or even because i don't like his recalcitrance, and i probably would've been justified not voting for him b/c he's an asshole, but i didn't. i didn't vote for him b/c i agreed with kerry on more issues than i did bush. go figure. if you took that novel concept--voting on the issues--and transplated it, as well as the u.s. candidates for president, into namibia, bush would've carried a larger majority than swapo did. for instance:
-namibians hate gays. point bush.
-abortion, too. point bush.
-they REALLY hate gays. three points bush.
-95% of the country is considered christian. five points bush.
-namibians don't have jobs, which is a lot like the america that reelected bush. point bush.
-namibians consequently don't pay taxes. eight points bush.
-"there is no such thing as a gay owambo. now namas and hereros, they are gay." lots of points for bush.
-dissention is akin to treason, with heavy rhetorical emphasis on unity. points swapo. i mean republicans.
-social security is code for i hope yr granchildren like you. two points bush.
-education ministry promotes ridiculous "standards" and blames the teachers when students are invaribly left behind. six points bush.
-fucking gay people and their hiv. thirteen points bush.
so there you have it. george w. bush, president of the republic of namibia. i didn't bother adding up the score b/c kerry didn't get any points, effectively a shut out. that hasn't happened to an american politician since george washington, so i suppose that makes bush more namibia's fault than mine: i voted for kerry.
so that's me, a grandstander, unless we're talking michigan football. or politics. nay, even here, 9000 miles away from home and american flag in hand, will you hear me claiming george w. bush was my horse. or is my horse, for that matter. but he is my president, and it gets a little tiresome to be bombarded with fuck george bush everytime i set foot outside the country. granted, his approach to foreign, or even domestic, diplomacy could be a bit less ascerbic, but he isn't the puppet master behind robert mugabe's more informed decisions. or even hostage situations in cambodia. nor is he or his party directly responsible for enabling people like kwame kilpatrick. so yeah, double-ewwwww: douche, but not the reason for yr shitty life.
i was wondering about this b/c even here, in a po-dunk village no one's ever heard of before, people occasionally tell me that gw sucks. ok, i can agree. but then they go on. pretty soon america's bombed every known country on earth, even atlantis, leaving me to believe that (1) george bush sucks, (2) america sucks, and (3) americans suck b/c they voted for george bush. (1) i agree with, (2) i can understand why a n.korean might think so, and (3) is complete bullshit, especially when promulgated by people in a society as conservative as namibia. and now that i've reconsidered, (2) is full of arse too, especially since it's predicated on the belief america is too quick to show off its dick. everytime i find myself acquiesing into agreement with "we're too violent" i realize i'm in a poor ass country and the only reason places like namibia, zambia, or chile aren't dropping bombs on people is b/c they can't afford the planes to drop them with. a proclivity towards military interventions can't be blamed solely on societal values. it's been quite some time since namibia's been involved in armed conflict, yet every day at school i see kids beating on each other, and if they're not, the teachers fill the gap. when i was growing up fighting was (supposedly) deterred through suspension. i was even suspended once for NOT fighting the wanker trying to fight me. all this micro grows into macro, which leads me to belief the third world would transgress just as much as the first if given the opportunity.
but whatevs, it's (3) that bugs me the worst. i didn't vote for bush not b/c he speaks like a retard, or even because i don't like his recalcitrance, and i probably would've been justified not voting for him b/c he's an asshole, but i didn't. i didn't vote for him b/c i agreed with kerry on more issues than i did bush. go figure. if you took that novel concept--voting on the issues--and transplated it, as well as the u.s. candidates for president, into namibia, bush would've carried a larger majority than swapo did. for instance:
-namibians hate gays. point bush.
-abortion, too. point bush.
-they REALLY hate gays. three points bush.
-95% of the country is considered christian. five points bush.
-namibians don't have jobs, which is a lot like the america that reelected bush. point bush.
-namibians consequently don't pay taxes. eight points bush.
-"there is no such thing as a gay owambo. now namas and hereros, they are gay." lots of points for bush.
-dissention is akin to treason, with heavy rhetorical emphasis on unity. points swapo. i mean republicans.
-social security is code for i hope yr granchildren like you. two points bush.
-education ministry promotes ridiculous "standards" and blames the teachers when students are invaribly left behind. six points bush.
-fucking gay people and their hiv. thirteen points bush.
so there you have it. george w. bush, president of the republic of namibia. i didn't bother adding up the score b/c kerry didn't get any points, effectively a shut out. that hasn't happened to an american politician since george washington, so i suppose that makes bush more namibia's fault than mine: i voted for kerry.
pee/see has us fill out these trimester report thingies in which they ask if we've built a library (nope), built a lab (nope), did anything cultural (nope), pissed anyone off (yup), saved someone's life (nope, back was hurting), or passed the time in any way that can be considered worthwhile (absolutely not). then they ask how many students you taught (185), how many of them recieved passing marks (passing??), how many teachers you've shared teaching methods with (does "beating isn't effective" count?), and whether or not yr principal's a douche (i tend to vacillate on this one). finally they rehash the three goals of peace corps and, since the previous questions cover the first goal, ask you to explain how you've met the following two. to explain how i've brought american culture to namibia i wrote, i'm monolingual, full stop. there are times, however, when i feel guilty for my inability to communicate in a language other than one that 1/4 of the entire world can speak, so i lie and say i know a little spanish. owamboland abuts angola (it might even extend into angola if i'm not mistaken), so people here take my slight fib as a cue to use portugese with me. i eventually explain that portugese and spanish are different languages, but i'm commonly scoffed at. they're the same, or so the thinking here goes.
that leaves me with this curious discrepency in logic. any given owambo will tell you (s)he speaks at least five languages: afrikaans, english, portugese, oshindonga, oshikwanyama, oshikwambi, oshietc. oshiwambo is a language with seven distinct dialects, but when i point out that oshindonga and oshinkwanyama are actually the same language, i get, no, no, they are DIFFERENT! it appears that spanish and portugese, however, are the same. at least the looks i get for being a retard would suggest they are.
anyhow, i was somewhat dedicated to learning oshindonga when i first arrived but, alas, was having a bit of difficulty. i mentioned this to my roommate as he drove me from the swearing in ceremony to my permanent site and his suggestion was to try oshikwanyama first. -it is very easy language, then you learn oshindonga. i thought that was an odd claim, but i've heard it repeated since over and over by other ndonga speakers. i finally asked a kwanyama speaker if this was the case. he said yes, so i asked him to explain. -are there differences in syntax structure, tense formations, does kwanyama do away with all those noxious prefixes??? -yes, was the answer again, and then he proceeded to break it down:
-in oshindonga, "you" is oan-goy-yay. now listen, in oshikwanya it's [really fast] gah-yee. which one is easier?
oooohhh, touche! i'm glad i have a bit of linguistic training, else i would've never thought that different pronounciations, despite shared phonemes, could make learning one "language" that much easier than another. i was about to launch into a motherfucker just b/c you pronounce ongoye slightly different than someone living fourteen miles away from you means you speak a different language, but then he told me some of the spelling differs, too. i guess he body slammed me into a pile of what's up, though being wrong here actually makes me less a prevericator than i already am. i can now claim to be multi-lingual without fear of jesus bootkicking my rotting teeth that give passage to dirty lies. let's see, i can communicate in aave, british english, canadian english, and i'm at least conversational in australian english. i've also read enough irvine welsch to believe i could hack scottish english, and my mother tongue is american english, though i've noticed my natural propensity isn't toward sae, meaning there's another "language" i might get to throw on my list. that means i speak...[let me count for a second]...six, possibly seven languages. oh, eight. i forgot i speak spanish now, which means i understand portugese, but that's not a seperate language so i still speak only eight.
that leaves me with this curious discrepency in logic. any given owambo will tell you (s)he speaks at least five languages: afrikaans, english, portugese, oshindonga, oshikwanyama, oshikwambi, oshietc. oshiwambo is a language with seven distinct dialects, but when i point out that oshindonga and oshinkwanyama are actually the same language, i get, no, no, they are DIFFERENT! it appears that spanish and portugese, however, are the same. at least the looks i get for being a retard would suggest they are.
anyhow, i was somewhat dedicated to learning oshindonga when i first arrived but, alas, was having a bit of difficulty. i mentioned this to my roommate as he drove me from the swearing in ceremony to my permanent site and his suggestion was to try oshikwanyama first. -it is very easy language, then you learn oshindonga. i thought that was an odd claim, but i've heard it repeated since over and over by other ndonga speakers. i finally asked a kwanyama speaker if this was the case. he said yes, so i asked him to explain. -are there differences in syntax structure, tense formations, does kwanyama do away with all those noxious prefixes??? -yes, was the answer again, and then he proceeded to break it down:
-in oshindonga, "you" is oan-goy-yay. now listen, in oshikwanya it's [really fast] gah-yee. which one is easier?
oooohhh, touche! i'm glad i have a bit of linguistic training, else i would've never thought that different pronounciations, despite shared phonemes, could make learning one "language" that much easier than another. i was about to launch into a motherfucker just b/c you pronounce ongoye slightly different than someone living fourteen miles away from you means you speak a different language, but then he told me some of the spelling differs, too. i guess he body slammed me into a pile of what's up, though being wrong here actually makes me less a prevericator than i already am. i can now claim to be multi-lingual without fear of jesus bootkicking my rotting teeth that give passage to dirty lies. let's see, i can communicate in aave, british english, canadian english, and i'm at least conversational in australian english. i've also read enough irvine welsch to believe i could hack scottish english, and my mother tongue is american english, though i've noticed my natural propensity isn't toward sae, meaning there's another "language" i might get to throw on my list. that means i speak...[let me count for a second]...six, possibly seven languages. oh, eight. i forgot i speak spanish now, which means i understand portugese, but that's not a seperate language so i still speak only eight.
some bush-types visited northern namibia to make sure those lascivious africans weren't using u.s. money to have sex with each other. condoms BAD: the lord said to wait till marriage.. which generally isn't a problem here. guy gets married THEN has sex, albeit with 20 or 30 women who aren't his wife..
they brought david brooks with him. i've been out of the states for awhile and have forgotten if i hate him. prolly, but he wrote an op/ed about his visit. it's a bit touchy feely, which is how the hiv spreads itself, non? i think he's slightly off point about this whole life after death thing, though. he treats hope as the ends when it's really the means. as in, the stigma and fear of hiv/aids need to be overcome (hope) so ppl will foot their arse to the clinic, get tested, and quit passing out the hiv b/c they're ignorant of their status.
they brought david brooks with him. i've been out of the states for awhile and have forgotten if i hate him. prolly, but he wrote an op/ed about his visit. it's a bit touchy feely, which is how the hiv spreads itself, non? i think he's slightly off point about this whole life after death thing, though. he treats hope as the ends when it's really the means. as in, the stigma and fear of hiv/aids need to be overcome (hope) so ppl will foot their arse to the clinic, get tested, and quit passing out the hiv b/c they're ignorant of their status.
i've finally begun to shed, alter, and adopt entirely new priorities for my teaching here. out is english. why bother, right? i'm sure my kids are smart, precocious, talented, etc., but they don't speak english very well. they've basically taken english vocabulary and plugged it into oshiwambo syntax, which i find reasonable yet grating. i consequently spend lesson after lesson trying to right the ship, but my 40 minutes invaribly expire and i defer to the next teacher's reinforcement of owamblish. selah, i's best start looking for job satisfaction somewhere else, eh. although i can't really look for another job, so i gather that means i have to seek my satisfaction somewhere else within the same job...
this week was the start of my sugar daddies are murderers campaign. if i can't teach the children (or the 8th grade adults) english, i might as well teach them that 40-year-old men who offer 14-year-old girls money, food, clothes, or mobiles are no va. one of the biggest hiv progenitors is the sugar daddy, the acquisition cycle being:
-some dirty fuck gives a young girl some things
-she reciprocates with the only thing she has to give
-the girl eventually outgrows her appeal (18, 19-years-old?) and is left to get freaky with people more her own age
-she now has TWO things to give
-and she gives them to the boys who'll spend their 40s hanging out in the cuca shop talking to 14-year-old girls.
i understand cultural relativism, but i also understand relativism is bullshit when it leaves girls stigmatized and a country harboring a 22% hiv prevalence rate. i might also pretend to understand sugar daddies who base their appeal on material goods, but particularly disgusting is the sugar daddy who pays a girl's school fees and then rationalizes that he's providing for her future. so my new gig is to rail against sugar daddies as i pretend to teach english. i now walk into class, throw up a bunch of notes i know my students don't understand, then illustrate my lesson with sentences about 40-year-old pervs. last wednesday i simulated a lesson on conditionals, but i really just wanted an excuse to say, if you have sex with a sugar daddy, you'll get hiv and die. i gather subtlety would've been the more prudent approach, but tinkering with nuance prolly won't work so well with kids who don't understand why that can't be loving someone too much.
i've also taken to teaching my 8c about american culture. they're going to grade 9 regardless next year, so i might as well provide them with the upper leg. i tried conditionals with them, too, and asked what would happen if you slapped your father. they said he'd kill you, so i informed them that in america, yr dad slaps you awake on the morning of yr 18th birthday. the two of you are expected to then fight. dad wins, you wear a dress for a week; you win, yr dad cooks dinner. i was prepared to tell them my dad beat my shit bad enough that i had to wear a dress for two weeks, but none thought to ask who won.
this week was the start of my sugar daddies are murderers campaign. if i can't teach the children (or the 8th grade adults) english, i might as well teach them that 40-year-old men who offer 14-year-old girls money, food, clothes, or mobiles are no va. one of the biggest hiv progenitors is the sugar daddy, the acquisition cycle being:
-some dirty fuck gives a young girl some things
-she reciprocates with the only thing she has to give
-the girl eventually outgrows her appeal (18, 19-years-old?) and is left to get freaky with people more her own age
-she now has TWO things to give
-and she gives them to the boys who'll spend their 40s hanging out in the cuca shop talking to 14-year-old girls.
i understand cultural relativism, but i also understand relativism is bullshit when it leaves girls stigmatized and a country harboring a 22% hiv prevalence rate. i might also pretend to understand sugar daddies who base their appeal on material goods, but particularly disgusting is the sugar daddy who pays a girl's school fees and then rationalizes that he's providing for her future. so my new gig is to rail against sugar daddies as i pretend to teach english. i now walk into class, throw up a bunch of notes i know my students don't understand, then illustrate my lesson with sentences about 40-year-old pervs. last wednesday i simulated a lesson on conditionals, but i really just wanted an excuse to say, if you have sex with a sugar daddy, you'll get hiv and die. i gather subtlety would've been the more prudent approach, but tinkering with nuance prolly won't work so well with kids who don't understand why that can't be loving someone too much.
i've also taken to teaching my 8c about american culture. they're going to grade 9 regardless next year, so i might as well provide them with the upper leg. i tried conditionals with them, too, and asked what would happen if you slapped your father. they said he'd kill you, so i informed them that in america, yr dad slaps you awake on the morning of yr 18th birthday. the two of you are expected to then fight. dad wins, you wear a dress for a week; you win, yr dad cooks dinner. i was prepared to tell them my dad beat my shit bad enough that i had to wear a dress for two weeks, but none thought to ask who won.
one of the differences between a white and black person in africa is that the white person's grandparents were busy colonizing everyone in sight as well as raping the land of its natural resources. another difference between blacks and whites here is that a black person gets malaria and does little more than cough, sneeze, and bitch about sore joints. a white person simply dies. or feels like shit in 2-3 day cycles, but looming death sounds more heavy and ominous, non? anyhow, i awoke monday for the fifth day in a row with a raging fever and thought it a good time to chance the namibian health system. i don't know how comfortable i am in a country boasting a 22% hiv-prevalence rate when the woman drawing my blood doesn't wear gloves; or if i appreciate the efficiency of a two hour ride to town before an hour and a half wait behind three ppl in the doctor's office; but i absolutely LOVE that i can walk into the pharmacy, get a shitload of drugs, and tell them the american gov't will pay for it. turns out i had tonsilitis or strep throat or some other thing not called malaria, from which i recovered just in time to sprain my ankle during a soccer match. i was going to roll into the hospital and ask for crutches, but i figure america should stop spending its money on my convalescence and start spending it on a war. what's syria up to these days?
are you allowed to have yr arse kicked on yr own blog? i suppose the pistons are down 3-2 to the heat, but rasheed's sounded the conspiracy alarm. i love that guy and his 1974...
i added a couple new links...
-shane-o-matic
-andrew.. funny guy
...and finally updated the link to douglas is fresh. perchance he'll update his blog?
oh, and a pearl of wisdom from conor:
..did you know that sarcasm is a stereotypical characteristic of the midwest? Everyone else actually have personalities, well not everyone. Plus Im still not convinced that opinionated contempt is any better.
i added a couple new links...
-shane-o-matic
-andrew.. funny guy
...and finally updated the link to douglas is fresh. perchance he'll update his blog?
oh, and a pearl of wisdom from conor:
..did you know that sarcasm is a stereotypical characteristic of the midwest? Everyone else actually have personalities, well not everyone. Plus Im still not convinced that opinionated contempt is any better.
one of the words on my vocab list this week was boner. a student actually had the temerity to spell it b-o-n-e-r. -fool, i said as i slapped him, it's spelled s-t-a-r-b-u-c-k-s. as in, my mama sent me a box full of starbucks and i'm on my way to jesse's so we can drink coffee till our hearts explode. my dad also sent extra guitar strings, so now i can tune my guitar w/o cringing every time i tighten the g-string. certificate of achievement for my parents. no certificate for that truculent douche-rocket who doesn't know how to spell boner. i'd fail him, but they'd send him to the next grade anyhow.
i should prolly introduce you to tate samurai peter. he's already made appearances in two of my posts, and judging from some of the conversations we've had, he'll most likely make a few more. tate samurai peter is half-japanese, a quarter german, and a quarter irish (hmmm.. sounds familiar... that is: we don't differentiate, asian, anglican, or otherwise), which means there isn't a single namibian who'd believe he isn't chinese. that reminds me: i was in a cuca shop last month watching a soccer match between ac milan and psv eindhoven. psv has a couple south koreans on their roster, and every time one of them would appear on screen, the owambos i was watching the match with would point, say something oshiwamboish, and laugh. the only part i could make out, just before the laugh, was "china." -they're not chinese, i'd say, they're korean. they're not even korean. they're SOUTH korean. they nodded their understanding and turned back to the game, laughing and saying china every time one of the koreans came on screen. they still don't understand why i've taken to calling them zulus.
anyhow, my chinese friend and i have been discussing big things for our respective schools. presently on the docket:
-a kung fu club (but i've already mentioned that).
-a spanish club. if the kids won't learn english, perhaps spanish?
-a sort of school bus system, only we'll use donkey carts instead of buses. but they'll be painted yellow and you can get a traffic violation for passing while it has on its indicators.
-i think there's something else but i've forgotten.
-and yes, i used end punctuation even though my list is comprised mostly of phrases.
