Thailaos and Cambodietnam
Just realized this blog is nearing seven-years-old, which is a long time to work 24/7 without a break. For the reals, I've had to shape editorial policy, sell advertising, edit video, manage our creative team - I mean use Photoshop to paste heads onto other people but only when I'm not copying embed code from YouTube - tout antiques out of the back of our company van, host pledge drives, and file nearly all of our original reporting. I haven't had a day off since grad school, which means it's time for a holiday: will be spending the next 39 days in SE Asia. Well, 37 since I already spent the last two in Bangkok hanging out with some dudes we met:
Power Couple
Melanie and I own all of Seoul:
Mostly because we don't dress like that, but hey, special occasion.
Mostly because we don't dress like that, but hey, special occasion.
Freudian Self-Analysis
Eh, I have a host of personal issues: only like girlfriends for 13 days at a time because two weeks sounds like forrrrrrever; have to hire a moving van every other year; and am 85% nihilist toward institutional anything, though I find a great deal of value in personal relationships so it's not like I'm going to buy a gun, pose for photos in a g-string, and then shoot bullets at the first congresswoman I see.
So woe is me; obviously this is my parents' fault, and I've gone through 17 volumes of spiral-bound journals trying to find exactly why that is. Then today I get an email from a friend and discover it was never their fault at all:
Er, turns out my developmental issues w/r/t commitment have to be pinned on my wardrobe, not Oedipus and my drunk mother. Analysis:
Oral stage - Whether or not you're frustrated or over-indulged with nipple will determine the likelihood of an optimistic or pessimistic personality, so good job there, mom and dad. Hit your approach to within five feet of the cup. Tapped for birdie.
Anal stage - How we respond to potty training determines if we're to become fat slobs or class A dick stoppers, which means I should probably apologize to them for all the messes I left at the side of the toilet right before thanking them for this awesome, laid back personality.
Phallic stage - Guess this was when I was supposed to fight my dad and marry my mother, but this stage went down after my parents' divorce, so really, I was sort of rooting for my dad to come kick the shit out of all my mom's new boyfriends. Hmm.
Latency period - You know, straight chilling with my people at the school. Why my dumbazz parents have to ground me again?
Genital stage - You know, balls drop, get back acne, grow a crustache, all that. That could have been the reason I was so awkward around girls, OR IT COULD HAVE BEEN THE WOOD-PANELED STATION WAGON MY MOM DROVE ME TO AND FROM SCHOOL IN!!
Wardrobe stage - I bought some dope shirts 10 years ago during university. I wear them on repeat until their novelty wears out among my friends, which is when I move somewhere else to find a new circle of friends who will ooh and ahh at my $1 thrift buys. When they no longer care either I just up and move again. Repeat till I'm 73 or dead.
So TFG for Freud, eh. All I have to do now is buy a couple new shirts and by next week I'll be happily married, own a house, go to company-sponsored golf outings, and belong to a church.
So woe is me; obviously this is my parents' fault, and I've gone through 17 volumes of spiral-bound journals trying to find exactly why that is. Then today I get an email from a friend and discover it was never their fault at all:
JFC, you really do only own 3 t-shirts, and they're all from that thrift store on Mich Ave.
Er, turns out my developmental issues w/r/t commitment have to be pinned on my wardrobe, not Oedipus and my drunk mother. Analysis:
Oral stage - Whether or not you're frustrated or over-indulged with nipple will determine the likelihood of an optimistic or pessimistic personality, so good job there, mom and dad. Hit your approach to within five feet of the cup. Tapped for birdie.
Anal stage - How we respond to potty training determines if we're to become fat slobs or class A dick stoppers, which means I should probably apologize to them for all the messes I left at the side of the toilet right before thanking them for this awesome, laid back personality.
Phallic stage - Guess this was when I was supposed to fight my dad and marry my mother, but this stage went down after my parents' divorce, so really, I was sort of rooting for my dad to come kick the shit out of all my mom's new boyfriends. Hmm.
Latency period - You know, straight chilling with my people at the school. Why my dumbazz parents have to ground me again?
Genital stage - You know, balls drop, get back acne, grow a crustache, all that. That could have been the reason I was so awkward around girls, OR IT COULD HAVE BEEN THE WOOD-PANELED STATION WAGON MY MOM DROVE ME TO AND FROM SCHOOL IN!!
Wardrobe stage - I bought some dope shirts 10 years ago during university. I wear them on repeat until their novelty wears out among my friends, which is when I move somewhere else to find a new circle of friends who will ooh and ahh at my $1 thrift buys. When they no longer care either I just up and move again. Repeat till I'm 73 or dead.
So TFG for Freud, eh. All I have to do now is buy a couple new shirts and by next week I'll be happily married, own a house, go to company-sponsored golf outings, and belong to a church.
Portlandia
Not sure what to make of this show or even if anyone back in Pdx even knows about it hahaha I mean has responded to at least 35 of the 44 Facebook invites to someone's OMG PDX IS ON THE TEEVEE I DON'T EVEN WATCH PREMIERE PAR-TAY HEY!!!!
Er...uh...whuh? So much material to work with and the only decent shiz they could manage in a three-minute short was [1] where young people go to retire and [2] you can put a bird on something and call it art. The rest was just a bunch of old women telling jokes to each other while petting their cats.
Man, hope the show is better than that preview. Or that these people aren't actual members of the writing staff:
Sigh, the beloved city even though edit because after writing hate hate hate I found an episode online and thought it did Pdx rather well. Instead of covering my tracks I will leave this post in its entirety to demonstrate what a complex being I am, or something.
Er...uh...whuh? So much material to work with and the only decent shiz they could manage in a three-minute short was [1] where young people go to retire and [2] you can put a bird on something and call it art. The rest was just a bunch of old women telling jokes to each other while petting their cats.
Man, hope the show is better than that preview. Or that these people aren't actual members of the writing staff:
Sigh, the beloved city even though edit because after writing hate hate hate I found an episode online and thought it did Pdx rather well. Instead of covering my tracks I will leave this post in its entirety to demonstrate what a complex being I am, or something.
Band Camp
I'm pretty sure this is how I sound most of the time. Sorry, y'all.
At least the comments make me feel better about myself, that I'm not the only one. Thanks, Dan.
At least the comments make me feel better about myself, that I'm not the only one. Thanks, Dan.
3.2 Memories on my iPod
Video I threw together for my fundraiser before dropping more photos in for some culture day thing at winter camp I had to do. It's blah blah blah Namibia because what else do I ever think about?
Team Austria
Went skiing for the first time during the NYE weekend. Planned to drop suck all over the mountain but remembered halfway down my second run that I'm so good on water skis I hardly have to bother with any clothes. Mountain, river: same same, except that whole Koko thing. Here's what skiing looks like every other place in the world:
And what it looks like in Korea:
Think I'm going to go again before the season's out. I already ski as fast as gravity but my barrel roll needs work since I don't know how to stop otherwise.
And what it looks like in Korea:
Think I'm going to go again before the season's out. I already ski as fast as gravity but my barrel roll needs work since I don't know how to stop otherwise.
