Africa is the best continent in the universe.
Hate to tell my family but once I'm done with Koko I'll be home long enough to kiss everyone goodbye because back to the homestead. I like vitamin D.
Ground-Rule Double
The annual teacher-student soccer match played every few years:
I scored my first goal ever. Not sure if it was an accident or not but was definitely one of those days where I'd close my eyes, stick my foot out, and the ball would travel forward instead of backward, as it tends to do. Phew, a long way away from my days as a keeper on my teacher's team in Africa, where they went so far as to make a no back passes to Jeremy rule.
Funniest thing about this photo is that I'm the tallest teacher, if only because the actual tallest teacher is crouched down there in the first row. Otherwise, I was under the impression Koreans have gotten substantially taller since industrializing, something like 3 to 6 inches. Guess that means subsequent generations are taller, not that an individual Korean will hit a growth spurt in his 40s just because the rest of the country's eating better than when he was 14. Erg, should have paid closer attention in biology class.
I scored my first goal ever. Not sure if it was an accident or not but was definitely one of those days where I'd close my eyes, stick my foot out, and the ball would travel forward instead of backward, as it tends to do. Phew, a long way away from my days as a keeper on my teacher's team in Africa, where they went so far as to make a no back passes to Jeremy rule.
Funniest thing about this photo is that I'm the tallest teacher, if only because the actual tallest teacher is crouched down there in the first row. Otherwise, I was under the impression Koreans have gotten substantially taller since industrializing, something like 3 to 6 inches. Guess that means subsequent generations are taller, not that an individual Korean will hit a growth spurt in his 40s just because the rest of the country's eating better than when he was 14. Erg, should have paid closer attention in biology class.
Go Whoooooooo!
Figure watching this over and over is the same as winning seven straight years, so excuse me while I watch it an eighth.
OSUcks
Ohio State game is tomorrow. I looked back at all the other years I wrote about The Game - 2010, 2009, 2006, and even 2005 from from Namibia - and noticed I'd repeated myself, at least the last two years, about the OSU game being my Christmas morning. Well, true, because I specifically remember wasting every opportunity I had on Santa's lap to ask for a pony and then every fake OSU Christmas morning I'd rush downstairs (roll out of bed in my studio flat) to unwrap the biggest giftbox under the tree (turn my computer on) only to find a dookie inside. Maybe it came from a pony, I don't know, but still, a dookie.
My singular prep for this year has been an album on Facebook documenting just how long it's been since Michigan won the Ohio State game. You should have a look: it's my finest work. Made a lot of promises so going to be a busy Sunday morning with accounting considering this is the one time since forever Michigan seems mildly capable of winning and Ohio State appears, uh, not good?
My singular prep for this year has been an album on Facebook documenting just how long it's been since Michigan won the Ohio State game. You should have a look: it's my finest work. Made a lot of promises so going to be a busy Sunday morning with accounting considering this is the one time since forever Michigan seems mildly capable of winning and Ohio State appears, uh, not good?
New Old Car
Bought myself a car last week. Can't drive it here in Koko because it's somewhere in Amurka. Here's a photo of me test driving that bad boy:
Mad fuel efficiency, at least as far as petrol goes. That and I can drive it across borders without inquiring about right- or left-side driving because I'll just use the entire road, thank you very much.
Mad fuel efficiency, at least as far as petrol goes. That and I can drive it across borders without inquiring about right- or left-side driving because I'll just use the entire road, thank you very much.
Peppero Recap
The commercial success of this blog is predicated on our reputation for being out in front of breaking news. So here's the report I'm filing on Peppero Day a full six days after actual Peppero Day. It counts as breaking news because this is how homeboy finally nutted up to ask some girl to smoke cigarettes with him after school:
And here's how she answered:
Better luck next time, yo. Ja, I may have constructed that narrative out of thin air - unless his lady pees standing up - but broken hearts are a whole lot cheaper when you skip the $30 worth of shitty biscuit sticks and are simply nice to madamoiselle instead.
And here's how she answered:
Better luck next time, yo. Ja, I may have constructed that narrative out of thin air - unless his lady pees standing up - but broken hearts are a whole lot cheaper when you skip the $30 worth of shitty biscuit sticks and are simply nice to madamoiselle instead.
/Namusic
I wish that's how Namibian music were branded, at least internally. Makes sense to me considering they already call it Namusic. You know, Namibia = Nam, Nam and music can share the one M since we're all family here, only now we throw in the alveolar click sound, /. /Na is the Damara-Nama word for good, great, cool, etc. that is part of the Namibian lingua franca, so in a sense saying three things at once by using /Namusic. You can send my fan mail to Madison Avenue. Before, however, why don't you enjoy a solid Namjam:
Dayum, Gina, where did that come from? That ain't no kwaito, foo' azz foo'. Trying to make sense of homeboy's route, though: wakes up in Katatura, foots it all the way to central Whk, then continues onto...South Africa? Watch out for the Mariental Boers, yo: Relocate those guys to Alabamar and the only concern they'd have is "Waar is die braai?"
Dayum, Gina, where did that come from? That ain't no kwaito, foo' azz foo'. Trying to make sense of homeboy's route, though: wakes up in Katatura, foots it all the way to central Whk, then continues onto...South Africa? Watch out for the Mariental Boers, yo: Relocate those guys to Alabamar and the only concern they'd have is "Waar is die braai?"
Urban Foraging
Happened upon a woman rifling through some leaves on the sidewalk because there was some food underneath. Not the real food you buy in a store but the fake kind that grows on trees. What are you, I asked, homeless? In Spanish, of course, so she didn't answer. Lucky for her this is the Socialist Republic of Kim Jong-il's 27th Favorite Country and she can look for more free food tomorrow. Were this the United Monsanto States of Con-Agra some Senator from Iowa would have already forged the President's signature on a law banning even looking at food made with something other than corn fructose.
Took a photo with my imaginary camera because my real one was at home. That shot was better than the one I took after going to get it since all I have now to document this vagrant is a blurry image of her walking proudly off with her booty, probably to some restaurant where I'm going to pay real money for whatever it is in those bags.
Took a photo with my imaginary camera because my real one was at home. That shot was better than the one I took after going to get it since all I have now to document this vagrant is a blurry image of her walking proudly off with her booty, probably to some restaurant where I'm going to pay real money for whatever it is in those bags.
Hygossipy
Eish, I hate gossip...
...except for all those times I'm talking about other people. Fools need to mind their own bidness, yo.
...except for all those times I'm talking about other people. Fools need to mind their own bidness, yo.
Spot On
I'm not in the market for a Korean boyfriend, but just in case you are:
Sometimes I'm in the market for a Korean girlfriend, so just in case you are too:
Ja, I know, same video, whatevs. Watch at least one of them and you'll understand Korean ladies as well as every impression I do ad nauseum the five years after I finally leave this place.
Sometimes I'm in the market for a Korean girlfriend, so just in case you are too:
Ja, I know, same video, whatevs. Watch at least one of them and you'll understand Korean ladies as well as every impression I do ad nauseum the five years after I finally leave this place.
Bourist Redux
My 9th graders started their finals yesterday a full two months before school actually lets out AKA classroom management nosedive, so rather than go to school and sit around not teaching the classes I didn't have, I came down with a case of explosive fake diarrhea instead because who's going to verify that? Oh, oh, 10.00 am wake up call so I could retrace my steps from last year to Biwon, only this time I got there two hours early rather than 45 minutes late since they don't let you in without a tour guide, and because I was Jong-min Whitey they refused to let me in with the Korean tour group even though I asked to join in Korean, nor would they let me join the Japanese tour leaving a half hour later even though I asked in pouty face.
Selah, sat around waiting for the English tour guide I wasn't going to listen to anyhow since the goal of taking photos anywhere is to pretend the 4000 other tourists don't exist, which meant I'd planned to malinger in the back, well out of earshot. So ja, lots of photos. I'm only publishing two because it's my blog and why would I want to bore you with a slideshow of me me me after seven years of writing about me me me?
The king's library over looking a small fishing pond. Apparently whenever homeboy would catch a fish a small orchestra would jam out some rando song, the end a signal to release the poor little guppy back into the waters. I would have missed that small bit of trivia on the Korean tour, no doubt, so gracias, two-hour wait.
Some pagoda buried deep in the autumn leaves. I'd have taken a nap here but surprise, the one time in my life I was wide awake. That and the old man trailing the group whose job it was to shoo the tourist debris along.
So one whole year passed between my first big excursion into Seoul tourism and actually getting to see what I wanted to. I don't know if it was worth the wait but since I had to for so long I'll just go ahead and say it was.
Selah, sat around waiting for the English tour guide I wasn't going to listen to anyhow since the goal of taking photos anywhere is to pretend the 4000 other tourists don't exist, which meant I'd planned to malinger in the back, well out of earshot. So ja, lots of photos. I'm only publishing two because it's my blog and why would I want to bore you with a slideshow of me me me after seven years of writing about me me me?
The king's library over looking a small fishing pond. Apparently whenever homeboy would catch a fish a small orchestra would jam out some rando song, the end a signal to release the poor little guppy back into the waters. I would have missed that small bit of trivia on the Korean tour, no doubt, so gracias, two-hour wait.
Some pagoda buried deep in the autumn leaves. I'd have taken a nap here but surprise, the one time in my life I was wide awake. That and the old man trailing the group whose job it was to shoo the tourist debris along.
So one whole year passed between my first big excursion into Seoul tourism and actually getting to see what I wanted to. I don't know if it was worth the wait but since I had to for so long I'll just go ahead and say it was.
